MiCo

It all began in a room in HQ with 8 arts kids and a complete and utter lack of focus.

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We were all sitting on the floor in a big circle and all these kids were screwing around. And I didn't really know any of them very well. This was maybe not even a week in or so. Maybe it was orientation week, it feels so long ago that I don't even remember.

The point is, it was really early in the year to the point where I didn't know any of their names. 8 fresh faces. All sitting in a circle. All horsing around instead of completing some stupid worksheet that we had to fill out.

They didn't make it clear why we were in the rooms we were. They just told us to pick a room that we were most interested in exploring, and I decided to (last minute may I add) pick the arts room. And then they told us that we were the new leadership for this years MiCo. And I was like, you what now?

The whole session was a hot mess. Some people were yelling at eachother and some were goofing off and talking really loudly and this one guy, I think it was Zach, was drinking coffee from one of those really large orange juice carton looking things and the whole thing was just bad. Since no one was doing anything, and I was my angsty annoyed awkward doesn't-know-how-to-make-friends person, I was yelling at all these kids to calm them down so we could just fill out the dang worksheet.

Eventually we BSed it and it got done and at the end of the session, we were told to -you guessed it- elect leadership for the MiCo.

And then what I thought was my worst nightmare happened. They elected me as president.

Somehow, in all of that noise, me yelling at 7 other scatterbrained arts kids about values and community - scripted words I was reading off of a worksheet haphazardly, mind you- translated into "oh you seem to have some semblance of what to do you should be leader of this entire club for the next year now cool thanks."

I literally did not want to be the leader of anything. Sure I told myself that after not really officially leading things in highschool, I would push myself to be more out there and leadershippy in college, BUT NOT LIKE THIS OH MY GOODNESS. It was too much too fast.

And in my frantic, what-is-this, ok-responsibility phase, I planned a bunch of stuff. Suddenly people expected things from me, and whether my performance mattered or added to their "necessary traits to be considered for friendship" expectations, I chose to deliver.

And oh my gosh nobody else did.

We were the most active MiCo of them all, and I am proud to say it. Vick and I worked pretty hard and we took the whole club-lead thing pretty seriously.

And it resulted in some fun first couple of activities: movie in the park, free silent-film viewing, arts and crafts on the fourth floor, henna tattoos, etc.

And I think that is what pushed us into the spotlight.

Suddenly the 8 kids who could not hold a train of thought became 6ish kids who worked together with specific roles to plan and attend all kinds of artistic events around the city.

And then I think the best thing that happened to me in a long time, happened.

People noticed.

They noticed how hard we were working and then Hannah noticed and then she started giving us a bunch of opportunities to go further and prove ourselves, and maybe even to ourselves that we are capable of so much more than we think we are.

And then the Oxygen week jam session happened. And then Domus happened. And then Feast happened. And then it was the Christmas party. And then holiday grams.

It was just one after the other after the other.

And what filled my heart was that important people said things that I honestly did not expect them to. Ben freaking Nelson told me to my face that Domus was "the best Minerva student showcase" that he had ever seen. And same with Amy. And that's what they said about Friendsgiving Feast- that it was the best one so far.

And I don't know what it is, if it's me being a perfectionist and needing to be the best at everything and making things like this happen, or me getting lucky with my grade and always being surrounded by the people who seem to care about things and people and being more than okay. I feel like I always end up in the best group: first it was the best grade at East, and then it was the best grade at New Tech, and the best group at NSLC, and literally THE BEST fuze team in the history of fuze, and now: the best grade at Minerva.

Granted, the school's not really been open that long so it's not thaaaat much of an accomplishment, but I don't know.

It feels good to put a lot of genuine effort into something, make other people happy for it, and then, on top of all that, get recognized by a lot of people for it. It's strange. I don't know if I 100% like it yet, but I have to say it's growing on me. I feel like I'm making some use of my time, some use to other people. Isn't that what life's about?

Granted it did get to me a little bit, when one day we were having a MiCo meeting after Domus and a friend made some comment about me being all leadershippy when I talk to the MiCo, and then he referred to me as "your highness".

And I did. not. get it.

It wasn't funny to me because Vick and I had put so much effort into planning these events and then were formally recognized for it in front of a lot of people and then we thought we were good. People knew us as the people in charge of BTL. They knew me as the person who planned really good events, and whether I liked that or not, I didn't realize that it made me seem like some unattainable thing.

The thing about Minerva is that everybody is really freaking accomplished in some way. And a some are officially accomplished, which is another way of saying that they accomplished something that society deemed worthy of the title "successful."

The same feeling I got when talking to people who gave Ted Talks and have written books and own three businesses, was the same feeling that these kids, my friends, saw me as "your highness."

Something about labeling things as "official" makes them ironically less authentic. Because then it has that flavor of unattainability, that glow of "those people", and aura of society-brand-success that taints the real accomplishment of the feat.

And it made me feel bad.

Here I was, leading a MiCo that I didn't want to lead, elected by people who didn't want to lead, doing things so that they enjoyed their time here, and somehow it was my fault that I was taking the initiative to get shit done.

Amazing.

Eventually we ironed everything out, but I think it taught me something valuable. I realized that in a place like Minerva, no one really reaches this mythical place called Success, because the people who are overachievers are the same people who are never satisfied with their accomplishments. Me enjoying the fruits of my labor was great, but somehow it made others feel as if that niche was filled and nobody else could challenge it- like I was the only one who was allowed to plan events and even if other people wanted to, they couldn't step forward and try to plan events because Amulya is good at it and so she'll do it.

And so it wasn't good enough to be good. I had to let other people have a chance to see if they could be good too.

And so the next couple of projects, I took a step back and let other people organize them. Sure I showed them how it was done, sure I held their hand, but they took charge, and it's nice to get that friendly reminder that you are only a product of your circumstance.

If Hannah didn't pressure us into doing the things we did, Domus would have never happened and I would not have seen the leadership skills that I see now, and BTL would not be as successful as it is, and so. much. happiness. would not have come to be.

And so, sometimes it takes a little nudge from the people you trust. And if the nudge is just the right strength, who knows how much momentum you can pick up. And the places you'll go. And the things you'll do.

And the person you'll be.